Everybody hurts sometimes

I got a rejection yesterday that made me cry. 

Let me give some background: I started writing “personal essays” (they weren’t personal essays but that’s what I was calling it) in 2019. That writing ultimately became (through many, many rounds of generating, revising, getting feedback, working with coaches and editors, etc.) in 2022 a weird, sad, short flash memoir in the form of a glossary written in the 2nd person.

In other words, in a notoriously difficult industry and marketplace, I created multiple barriers to publication for myself. But I made my choices intentionally, even while knowing there might be consequences.

I knew this when I set out to find a publisher. It’s not something an agent would take on. It’s too short to be a book and it’s too long to be an essay. Very few works are written in the 2nd person because it’s hard to read (who is “you,” the reader or the writer?).  It’s about a woman who becomes the age her father was when he died and how she realizes the way she grew up doesn’t need to be the way she lives the rest of her life. 

If you (yes, you, reading this) are a daughter who had a father who died young or who has a “complex” relationship with her father, I’m guessing you’re intrigued and you want to read this book. If that doesn’t describe you, I bet you’re ready for me to get to the point.

See? It’s not for everyone. It’s for a very specific reader.

And yet, I want it to be published so I can hold it in my hands, so I can say “I did it! I wrote this thing and got it published!” AND because I know there are people out there who want/need to read this because they want to know they’re not alone and they want to see how someone else figured some of their shit out.

But publishers make business decisions, not emotional ones. If you were in the business of making money, why would you decide to publish something with a limited audience?

I cried because it hurts to hear that I got so close and yet, no cigar. I cried because I bet more than one of their five readers loved it and wanted it to be published. 

Let me be clear, I’m no stranger to rejection. This book has gotten 20 rejections to date (still waiting on 6 responses). I’ve received 101 other rejections since 2020. Rejection is part of the process, and, you don’t get anything accepted if you don’t send stuff out and risk rejection. 

Here’s the point:

The struggle doesn't mean the process isn't working; the struggle IS the process.

Writing a book isn’t easy. Getting published isn’t easy. There are many decisions to be made along the way that could decrease some of the barriers to traditional publication – or you decide to do you and damn the consequences and you get the support you need on that path too. 

Make it easier on yourself by getting help from a trusted, knowledgeable, experienced book coach.

What’s book coaching all about? Click here and find out!