I’m a loser.

Actually, I'm an overachiever and overthinker who lets fear of failure get in my way. I tried to use NaNoWriMo to motivate (pressure) me to get 50k words by hook or by crook, and I'm not going to hit 50k words by the end of the day today. By that measure, I lose. I fail.

However, I have about 12k words I'm really positive about. I found a structure that's working (for now). I'm not sure what comes next - I have some work yet to do but I think I'm close to a draft that could use some feedback. I know it's not book-length, but it might be a chapbook. I'm not sure if this work needs to be 50k or more words. It might be enough as it is. 

Which is a great lesson for me and all the other overachievers and overthinkers out there. We are enough as we are. We don't need to win NaNo every year or at all. We need to challenge ourselves and be comfortable with the growth that happens as a result. Failure is an option - it is valuable in that it teaches us lessons that we can use going forward. 

I'm embracing this lesson, my failure, and my pride in my 12k words that resulted from hard work and persistence and deep excavation. I hope my failure gives someone else the ability to let go just a little so that what motivates us doesn't hold us back.