Making a mess

Real talk, writer friends. 

I have a hard time writing.

There. I said it.

The year is half over, and one of my goals this year was to have a draft of a new book. 

How many words do I have written of this book? ZERO.

I think I figured out why.

Perfectionism

“To be able to write abundantly means also being willing to make a mess. And yet, many of us fear that if we write something that isn’t perfect, it will mean we weren’t destined to be a writer.” - Alexander Weinstein

The first two sentences of The Open Page: Poetry, Fiction, and Essays on the Art of Writing by the Martha’s Vineyard Institute of Creative Writing gave me goosebumps. I am not good at making a mess. Messiness makes me uncomfortable. Those who know me might call me a little (a lot) uptight. No wonder writing without knowing where it’s going or if it’s any good is uncomfortable for me. Not being comfortable with making a mess on a page explains why I haven’t yet produced any words towards my book idea, despite being good at setting aside time for writing. 

Do you relate? If so, here are two techniques for overcoming the fear of messiness, aka perfectionism.

Let loose

“To help writers banish the fear of making a mess, I often open my classes with a version of an exercise known as Freewriting. In most Freewriting exercises there is one basic rule: once you begin writing you many not stop/pause. The aim is to get past the thinking mind (and the Inner Critic) in order to tap into our subconscious mind, where our wildest dreams and imagination resides.” - Alexander Weinstein

There is something so freeing about starting with stream-of-consciousness writing to get things going. I found myself doing this during NaNoWriMo, the challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel during November. Spoiler alert: I didn’t write a novel in a month, but it helped to get the creative juices flowing to JUST START TYPING whatever was on my mind. Once I was warmed up, I could work on the actual writing, but I really needed the warm up to silence the Inner Critic. 

Try it - set a timer for ten minutes when you begin your writing time and just put words on the page without stopping, even if you’re narrating your own thoughts, like “I’m in trouble. I don’t feel like writing. I don’t feel 100%. I’m tired and unmotivated (especially about work). I feel like I lost my mojo (especially about work). I’m not sure what that’s all about. Maybe I’m coming down with a cold? I was just sweating and now I’m chilly.” ←Actual content from my NaNoWriMo document, November 22, 2019. By the time the ten minutes are up, you should be warmed up and able to let your Inner Writer take over.

Remember why 

I want to write a novel. I’ve never done it before. I know it’s not easy. I’ve spent most of this year (and some of last year) attempting - and failing - to do it. If I haven’t been able to do it yet, why do I keep trying?

I think I can. I want to write a story that people will read and hopefully enjoy. I want to hold the book in my hands, the fruit of my labor. I want to be able to say I did it. Every time I envision myself going to a bookstore and seeing my book on a shelf, I get excited and motivated. I am reminded of my why.

Try it - Write out why you want to write your book or story or essay. What is your motivation? What will you get out of the experience? How will you feel when you’ve done it? The motivation should quiet the Inner Critic and excite the Inner Writer.  

Reframe the negativity

Let me reframe how I started this post: There’s still half a year left, and one of my goals is to draft a new book. I’m going to try these tools for overcoming my perfectionism. The first step towards having written a novel is to get messy! 

Will I finish at least a drafty draft by the end of the year? Wow, that would be amazing. Let the mess-making commence! 

If you have strategies for overcoming perfectionism/the fear of making a mess/doing it wrong, I’d love to hear them.